Glenarm, or to be more accurate, Glenarm Forest was the location for the third race in the Club’s Hastings Financial Services sponsored 2023/24 handicap series. As per last year, the 4.7 mile race (or 4.5 miles – like his 60+ year old legs Jackie’s brain isn’t quite as sharp as it used to be) was run entirely over forest paths, starting and finishing at the barrier blocking cars from entering the forest. The opening half mile was a fairly comfortable stretch beside the river (for the timekeepers and spectators anyway), but for some reason the river, possibly because it was clearly running faster than any of the runners, soon decided to forgo their company and wandered off to pursue its own meanderings, thereby leaving the runners to their own devices. In this instance, their own devices amounted to a long, gradual ascent up quite a narrow path to the foot of the steepest climb on the course, a climb which, though only about 140 metres or so in length, was probably still long and steep enough to oblige at least some of the runners to walk all or part of it. On reaching the top of the climb, the runners were directed by Sharon to another path taking them to a small tributary of the Glenarm River which marked the turning point and the start of the long, mostly downhill, run back to the finish. It was also at this point that the runners were treated to Mr Thompson’s unique take on words of encouragement.
While all this was going on there was much discussion among the timekeepers and spectators about who the likely winner of the race would be and, while various names were bandied about, it was eventually agreed that the winner would in all likelihood be the first runner to cross the finish line. Logic having prevailed, discussions moved on to what was happening in the race itself and Jackie, as an avid viewer of Strictly Come Dancing and a bit of a twinkle-toes himself, propounded the view that some of the runners were probably quickstepping their way around the course while others were adopting more of a soft-shoe shuffle approach. He even intimated that by the halfway point some might already be reeling from exhaustion, but his suggestion that one or two runners might well be fandangoing their way round sounded vaguely pornographic and without video evidence to back up or support this observation the general feeling was that this was going a step too far. After postulating that at least some of the runners would be close enough at the finish to enable them to cross the line conga-fashion he finally took pity on the rest of us and desisted from making any more dancing-related remarks, but God help Rhonda when the Autumn comes around.
As it turned out, Jackie’s word proved to be partly prophetic. The first two runners across the finish line, Mark and Colin respectively, might have been well clear but thereafter the finishers tended to cross the line in pairs or small, closely bunched groups with, for example, Paul and Phil in third and fourth places being separated by just four seconds and only thirteen seconds separating Rhonda, Diane and Emma in places five, six and seven.
Full details of all the times and places are set out in the table below, and while the three fastest corrected times of the day were posted by Phelim (30:22), David (33:27) and Dale (33:48) with the fastest Ladies’ times being set by Ashlynn (37:27), Emma (38:51) and Beverley (40:36), it is worth pointing out that some of the runners’ corrected times, allowing for the creeping menace that is the passage of time, were remarkably close to those set in last year’s race with Phelim’s times being exactly the same.
As always, thanks to all the runners who took part in the race; to Jackie and Kirsty for helping with the timing; to Ashlynn and Lynn for the much appreciated post-race tea, coffee and refreshments (and kudos to Gabriel for his baking); to Diane for organising the prizes; to Billy and Sharon, for marshalling; and especially to Hastings Financial Services for their generous sponsorship of the handicap series. Finally, thanks to the friends and family members who turned out to offer support and words of encouragement to all the runners.
| Time | Name | Handicap | Time | Corrected Time | Corrected 2023 Time |
| 1 | Mark Todd | 05:45 | 41:39 | 35:54 | 35:53 |
| 2 | Colin McVicker | 06:15 | 42:34 | 36:19 | – |
| 3 | Paul Tilson | 08:50 | 44:44 | 35:54 | 37:50 |
| 4 | Phil McNeill | 10:20 | 44:48 | 34:28 | – |
| 5 | Rhonda Wallace | 01:40 | 45:03 | 43:23 | – |
| 6 | Diane Hawthorne | 00:50 | 45:06 | 44:16 | 46:32 |
| 7 | Emma McKeen | 06:25 | 45:16 | 38:51 | – |
| 8 | Michelle Woods | 00:00 | 45:52 | 45:52 | – |
| 9 | David Johnston | 12:30 | 45:57 | 33:27 | 34:40 |
| 10 | Michelle McIntosh | 00:20 | 45:59 | 45:39 | 43:24 |
| 11 | Emmett Woods | 10:00 | 46:03 | 36:03 | – |
| 12 | Phelim McAllister | 16:00 | 46:22 | 30:22 | 30:22 |
| 13 | Eddie Finn | 03:00 | 46:29 | 43:29 | – |
| 14 | Dale Smith | 13:20 | 47:08 | 33:48 | – |
| 15 | Beverley Gaston | 06:35 | 47:11 | 40:36 | 39:50 |
| 16 | Ian Brennan | 02:00 | 47:15 | 45:15 | – |
| 17 | Andy Gregg | 12:15 | 47:23 | 35:08 | 35:00 |
| 18 | Sean McAllister | 12:50 | 47:36 | 34:46 | 34:10 |
| 19 | Ashlynn Rodgers | 10:40 | 48:07 | 37:27 | – |
| 20 | Marie Hagan | 00:30 | 48:13 | 47:43 | – |
| 21 | Laura Smith* | 02:30 | 48:35 | 46:05 | – |
| 22 | Laura Brennan** | 04:00 | 49:33 | 45:33 | 47:36 |